I may be the only guy in America happy when a turd falls into his lap. Daniel Beckham is just such a peanut-encrusted turd.
Spoke with a concerned party in Los Cerritos, California this morning. Which is fun to say. Los Cerritos. Anyway, it seems that the above pictured chap has been into some shady shit. Let’s start with the account from HIS side.
Members of the Cerritos College Police Department took former US Marine Daniel E. Beckham, a former student and part time employee at Cerritos College, into custody on Thursday morning and is being held on a $25,000 bond.
Beckham has been transferred to Los Angeles County Men’s Central Jail where he is being held on eight felony counts on destruction of government property.
[Added on edit] Beckham survived two tours in Iraq and Afghanistan and was actually wounded in Iraq and is a “Wounded Warrior.”
Basically he went into the school’s computer system and played Monkey Throws Poop with various grades. He got caught. But we must excuse him because he is a combat veteran. We know that from the Change.org petition to let America’s Latest Hero walk:
Daniel is an honorable, decorated Marine Corps veteran who diligently attended school at Cerritos College as a pre-med student and in the Disabled Students Programs and Services Department.
Just how heroic? That’s unclear, but we do get this:
Beckham is also a decorated war veteran who served in the US Marines in both Iraq and Afghanastan [sic] from 2007 to 2010.
OK, everyone get your shocked face ready.
Medals he is entitled to per fleet marine reserve: Marine Select Reserve Medal. National Defense Service Medal. /fullstop.
Actual Discharge: OTH (That means Other Then Honorable)
So let’s just start with a round of, “who can identify the ribbons” and we’ll go from there. He has some pretty awesome Eric Estrada hair, but you can’t just be making stuff up there super troop.